I think I'm having a mid-life
crisis. The good news is…if I'm truly
at the middle of my life, I'm going to live
to be 84. The bad news is…my husband is
having a mid-life crisis too.
Personally, I've been moping around the house
for weeks questioning everything and unable
to make a decision about anything.
"Honey, do you want chicken or beef for
dinner?"
"Should I wear the red shirt or the blue
shirt?"
"Should I blink every five seconds or every
ten?"
And, since my husband is in a similar state,
there's a lot of blank staring going on and
not much talking. Fortunately, our two children
jolt us back to life every few minutes with
their antics. I liken it to the shock paddles
used to revive a patient when their heart stops.
I just wish my kids would yell, "CLEAR"
before they jolted us back to life. A couple
of times they almost caused a heart attack!
The day I realized my husband was looking the
way I felt, I confronted him about it.
"Honey, do you think you're having a mid-life
crisis," I asked not knowing if I really
wanted the answer.
"Yeah, I think I might be," was his
subdued reply.
After checking the driveway for a convertible
and his shirt collars for a foreign shade of
lipstick, I decided not to panic and just muttered,
"Yeah, me too."
He admitted he was a little frustrated lately
and I admitted I just felt "lost."
Then we talked about what changes we could make
to get out of our proverbial "funk."
Fortunately, none of these included a change
o' spouse.
But first we wanted to see if we were definitely
having a mid-life crisis or if it was just something
like SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) or a
fleeting case of the blues.
According to Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia,
a mid-life crisis is…
"An emotional state of doubt and anxiety
in which a person becomes uncomfortable with
the realization that life is halfway over. It
commonly involves reflection on what the individual
has done with his or her life up to that point,
often with feelings that not enough was accomplished.
The individuals experiencing such may feel boredom
with their lives, jobs, or their partners, and
may feel a strong desire to make changes in
these areas. The condition is also called the
beginning of individuation, a process of self-actualization
that continues on to death. The condition is
most common ranging from the ages of 35-50,
and affects men and women differently. Mid life
crises last about 3-10 years in men and 2-5
years in women, but length may vary in some
people."
The definition sounded pretty accurate to how
we were feeling, but the last sentence was a
little disconcerting.
"Did that just say it could last 3-10 years?"
my husband nervously questioned.
"Yeah, but it also says the length of the
crisis 'may vary.'"
"I hope so, 'cuz I don't have time for
no stinkin' mid-life crisis."
I took this as a good sign. I mean, rationally
we both know we are truly blessed and that there
is so much to live for, but for some reason
we were just "stuck."
Then I thought of something my soon-to-be 80-year
old father said to me recently. "You know
what? You better snap out of it, because life
is not a dress rehearsal." And, although
I've heard that expression before, this time
it really hit home.
So today is the day I take my life back. I haven't
written this column in weeks because of my glum
mood and I decided it was time to get off my
butt and "just do it." I mean, humor
is the best medicine for anything that ails
you, right?
And my husband, well, I'm happy to report that
he seems to be emerging from his blue mood as
well. Yesterday he dusted off his twenty-year
old Rollerblades and played roller hockey in
the driveway with our boys. He looked renewed,
refreshed, and quite frankly, pretty darn handsome
to his wife of 15 years.
So, you know what mid-life crisis? We've got
no stinkin' time for you. Game over!
|
